11.01.2005

Due to a Rift in Space Time...

... the events in the preceeding post never took place. The transmission which published them was passed on to this dimension from another one by an advanced species which has the ability to travel across membranes. Notice how, in the transmission, Parliamentarian Pyroclastor has a goatee, while our Pyroclastor does not.

We apologize for any confusion this may have caused. In the future, watch for goatees.

TC

10.31.2005

Chancellor Pyroclastor Takes Office

Willtor's last act as Chancellor of the Holdfast has been to announce open hostilities towards the Federation. In a ceremony in the Parliament building on New Tholia, today, he stepped aside and was replaced by Parliamentarian Pyroclastor. Pyroclastor's first act was to redesignate the "Tholian Holdfast" as the "Tholian Will," just as in the home galaxy.

In a brief speech in Parliament, Pyroclastor announced that the redesignation was a return to the traditional ways of the Tholian people, which represents inherent Tholian unity. He said of Willtor, "My predecessor only ever had the interests of the Tholian people in mind when he made the changes he did, and his reign, especially his campaign against the Seltorians, will be forever remembered as an unprecedented victory for all Tholians, everywhere. Parliamentarian Willtor will remain head of the committee for military activity.

"Make no mistake," he continued, "it is the policy of the Tholian Will to totally expel all aliens who choose to violate our borders. The Federation clearly falls far short of its own ideals, and it may be that its people are so irrational that they will listen, only after they have been given sufficient 'incentive.'"

TC

10.24.2005

Chancellor Willtor Press Release:

The following is a press release from Chancellor Willtor:

"Of late, there have been rumors that I have entered dialog with the Federation. These rumors are true. It has been rumored that I opened the dialog after the Federation invasion. This, also, is true. Based on data recovered from the captured Federation cruiser, I have concluded that these aliens are merely over-zealous about contact. Their zealous nature has led them to take unfortunate and inadvisable steps, but I do not believe they are hostile. Similarly, I do not believe that my communications have fallen on deaf ears. Strange as it may sound in light of their invasion, I don't think they want war.

"In the event that I am mistaken, however, I have mobilized our fleets. The Tholian people have nothing to fear. We are in a position to annihilate every ship they have in our space, and we can be on the offensive as soon as I command it.

"On a related matter, I have heard the calls for my resignation. If I am wrong about the Federation, I am prepared to relinquish authority to Pyroclastor, who has been a vocal opponent of the concept of foreign relations. He will see that I have left the Holdfast in a position to act."

---

The Chronicle spoke to a few Tholians on the street, to hear their opinions:

Tholian 1: "What does Willtor mean by being mistaken? Hasn't the Federation already proven him mistaken? I think he needs to step down, now. I am familiar with his history, and am grateful, but this whole 'diplomacy' thing is only weakening the Holdfast."

Tholian 2: "I don't think Willtor should step down, but I do think he is being naive about the Federation's intentions. He should begin the attack, now. If anybody can lead us through a two front war, with the Federation and the Hydrans, it's Willtor."

Tholian 3: "Give it up. Diplomacy worked with the Klingons, but some people only understand force. The Federation needs to be brought to its knees before it will give up its 'zeal for contact.' We need Pyroclastor."

Thoian 4: "If the Federation hasn't attacked, yet, I have to imagine they are just foolish aliens, nothing more. We should pursue peace. Young, naive races like that need our protection, not our condemnation. I applaud Willtor's efforts in these matters. Pardon? My name? Look, I have neighbors."

TC

9.27.2005

Battle for the Holdfast

Rumors of Federation incursions have been substantiated by independent sources. Numerous border breaches have been cited and it is certain, now, that the Holdfast is under attack. Spokestholian Lithor had this to say, "Our fleets have been mobilized. Chancellor Willtor is doing everything in his power to ensure the security of the Holdfast."

The Chronicle has learned that the Chancellor entered into dialog with the Federation after its fleets crossed the Tholian border. More conservative elements within the Holdfast are voicing their opinions of this policy. Certain Tholian Rights groups are requesting that Willtor step down so that he can be replaced by a Tholian with more orthodox methods, who will take this war to the Federation.

Other Tholians are more lenient. To quote one source, "A new galaxy requires new methods. Even though diplomacy turned out to be an exercise in futility, it was worth trying. And the only time this sort of diplomacy has even been tried is with a belligerent race. I don't think Chancellor Willtor should step down."

Nevertheless, a poll by the Chronicle indicates that 30% of Tholians on New Tholia think that Willtor should step down. Willtor's approval rating, since the news break, on the Nightly News, has plummeted to 55% from 87% three months ago. At any rate, it seems clear that if Willtor remains diplomatic, and his efforts fail, he will have to step down, likely to be replaced by someone more conservative.

As to the present situation it is unclear what stance the Hydran Kingdom has taken in this battle. It is not known whether the Hydrans have opened up dialog with the Holdfast.

TC

9.05.2005

Fleets are Forming

The Chronicle received an anonymous report from a high-ranking official within the government that a few days ago, a mixed Hydran and Federation fleet passed through the neutral zone and into Tholian space, and that a second Federation fleet began forming within the neutral zone. When asked for a comment, government spokestholian Lithor said only, "All matters of security are being dealt with. Beyond that I cannot comment at this time."

Since the acknowledgment of war by Chancellor Willtor, no border breaches have been reported. However, if these reports are confirmed, it would appear that the Holdfast is under siege from two sides. Senior military analyst, Pyroclastos, comments:

"Given the inferior military technology possessed by the aliens in this galaxy, any skirmishes would almost certainly be futile. However, given the projected resource base of the combined Federation and Hydran war machine, the outcome of a prolonged war is less certain. It is believed that the Federation, itself, possesses almost limitless starship construction capabilities for its navy.

"Should the as-yet uncontacted Romulans approach the Holdfast in a hostile way, claiming that we occupy their territory, Willtor may have no choice but to retract our borders. It is also not clear how, exactly, the Klingon Empire would respond to a shift in the balance of power within this region of space.

"In any case, while the Federation flexes its military muscle, it is not clear what it intends to do about its Vulcan crew. No press releases have been made by the Federation which might reveal their thoughts. It is, perhaps, possible that they don't place the same value on life that the Holdfast does, and that they have actually given up on them."

The Chronicle will release more on this situation as it develops.

TC

6.08.2005

Movie Review: The Godtholian

Summary (spoilers):
The Coraleone crime family transitions from one generation to the next. When young Mica Coraleone returns home from the second Seltorian War, a decorated hero, he wants nothing to do with the family business. But when an attempt is made on the life of his father, the Godtholian, family patriarch, Mica is drawn into a series of events which will lead to the loss of his ideals and acquisition of the title, Godtholian.

Review (spoilers):
8 Tholian-Claw-Thingies Up
Well written, directed, and acted, one readily identifies with young Mica and his transition from anti-Seltorian, pro-Tholian idealism, to crime boss. The writers find the heart of the Coraleone family methods when a director refuses to cast a Godtholian family friend in a movie, and consequently wakes up in bed with the severed head of his prized Yarnek. The Godtholian is destined for greatness. Let us only hope they don't ruin it with sequels.

5.31.2005

War!

Hostilities have begun between the Holdfast and the Federation. In a speech by Chancellor Willtor, he announced that, "war has been declared on the United Federation of Planets. In actuality, [the declaration] is nothing more than the naming of an undeniable reality. ... One of our patrol wings, led by Commander Ignash, in command of the Tarantula detected a Federation reconnaissance ship entering the Tholian neutral zone. Under my orders, the Tarantula and its wing engaged the Federation vessel. With no damage to his own wing, whatsoever, he crippled and captured the Vulcan Heavy Cruiser, Aitrus."

The Chancellor then stated that the crew of the Aitrus had been apprehended and detained. "I have made an offer to the Federation for an end to hostilities, and to have its crew returned under the conditions that Tholian sovereignty be upheld, and Tholian borders be recognized."

The condition of the Vulcan crew is unknown. Willtor indicated that they would not be harmed, but a competing news organization (Hydran Broadcast Guild) has released a statement by a Federation Admiral that indicates that the Federation has given up on its crew, and will "commend their souls to the great mystery that awaits all sentient life at its end." Only time will tell which of these conflicting statements by the respective governments is accurate.

TC

The Klingon Empire

In a press release, yesterday, the government revealed that contact has been made with the Klingon Empire. Said government press liaison, Granitor, "A Klingon cruiser entered our neutral zone and was intercepted by the Arachnid. The Klingon commander showed no interest in violating Tholian sovereignty." When pressed, Granitor refused to release further information about this newest neighbor.

At present, the government has released, contact has been made with two of four neighbors. It is, as yet, unknown whether the Hydran Kingdom or the Romulan Star Empire are hostile. Said Granitor, "The hope is to remain as remote from the rest of the galaxy as possible. Paradoxically, this may require making contact with our other neighbors, so that they are aware of our presence."

The Chronicle has drawn up a political map of this arm of the galaxy, from the data provided.



TC