Due to a Rift in Space Time...

... the events in the preceeding post never took place. The transmission which published them was passed on to this dimension from another one by an advanced species which has the ability to travel across membranes. Notice how, in the transmission, Parliamentarian Pyroclastor has a goatee, while our Pyroclastor does not.

We apologize for any confusion this may have caused. In the future, watch for goatees.